on my cold hardwood floors, in front of my alter. I laid in the fetal position. Gripping my raggedy yellow blanket, my one constant and consistent non-abusive, truly understanding source of love I’ve had in this life. my true family in a blanket that was once yellow, and once devoid of holes. Now filled with…

I think so often we are obsessed with knowing. What is it? Is it this or that? Endless figuring. Maybe its all of it, taking turns that make absolutely no sense. Maybe it would feel so much better sometimes, to be carried. Maybe that’s what we long for It’s all of it Its black and…

I once loved a monster. He trimmed his teeth so I could not see but I always did I would pretend I saw nothing as he hid I wanted him to feel like he could relax dont ask me why I dont know that I saw something in him, I knew it was in me…

I’ve never felt more like I belonged, then alone in my own home. I don’t really think theres someone meant for me, and it doesn’t make me sad. I think I’m one of those ancient goddesses, whole unto herself. No counterpart, no outside completer. Its like showing up to a party where the music is…

If I believe I need absolutely anything from the predator, the enemy, then they have the ability to slip in. I DO NOT NEED ANYTHING THE ENEMY COULD GIVE your information is tainted, your validation menacingly pointed, I do not grasp, I do not desperately cling to all your dirtied, and tainted things I remember…

I’ve cried while writing poetry way more times then I’ve been to a festival  I’m the pornstar that’s delicate and discerning.  A paradox of a woman.  representative of the truth of life in its terrifying core.  “paradox”  thunderstorms bring me more comfort then any person or thing ever could. I’ve done mushrooms in intentional containers…

There are countless ways to make decisions, perceive things, etc. Much of the way you perceive things isn’t what you decided. But what you inherited. What you were programmed with. From your genetics, your culture, your environment, what information, stimuli, and imagery you have consumed in various ways. Consider I am given the choice between…

Am I shiny? Alluring? Do you imagine owning such brilliance? Attempting to represent yourself as me, in some way. Showing the world your value through me. Through my beauty. Popularity. Am I beautiful? Poetic? Do you see me kissing every wound you have? Loving you down to your core, as you know I can. Forgiving…

Untakeable, unbreakable, immeasurable, inconceivable, unfakeable. the holes this world has sliced in me is how I make my music baby the wind whistles my hollows trauma sharpened my claws durable, unkillable I look like a monster? I’m just a responder beastly but you need me Tell me I’m evil unless I’m defenseless then of course…

There is nothing you can do to escape the loss that fills life. You will love things, people, places, ideas, only to have them ripped from you, at some point. You will come crashing to your knees, in grief. You cannot escape the ruthless hands of life, but you can lean in to her all…

I love her. I love the hardest parts of her to love. I love her ruthless hands as they beat away my striving, and lying. I love her untameable senseless ways. I love her in her paradoxes, her madness I release when I never try to defeat Her I can love her here. I can…

Let truth leave my tongue and relinquish me from all that is numb. Countless people know your name and what you did, they know the whole story. I almost let one of them run news stories, many in the music industry and tmz was interested. They wanted to ruin your career. But I didnt want…

every heartbreak, every betrayal  opens me wider  I’m a love titan  I can’t be broken  All I do is open  every contraction leads to expansion  tell me all hope is lost  I’ll become the sun  and ask if it’s hot  tell me you can’t see any light  I’ll open my mouth and breathe fire  tell…

I spill my heart out, and they drink it in. They just wanna win. Loves a game, to them. And I don’t wanna play. I know I could manipulate, I could hold back. But that’s the type of shit I hate. My ex fiance used to say “Your heart goes straight to your lips” Why…

I’m not the place you can go to run away from all your accountability, I’m not the one who will drown out your self hatred with my adoration. I won’t fix you, and I will get mad when you exchange your integrity for soulless gain. I am more then this absolutely stunningly beautiful physical body…