and for once she was stunned into silence. she accepted that they did not truly care about her she sank back down, into what she deserves. relaxed into her worth. she just said okay. she took her giant heart and chose to be alone. to do it on her own. no closure needed, she had…

Alright, weighty title I know. But its necessary. The main focus of this post is going to be centered around how authoritarian control techniques are the basis for our definition and navigation of power, and are prevalent in nearly every community, social structure, and groups we have access to. Whether that be a friend group,…

And the day the love runs out, is the day I die. I’ve carved, and I’ve cut my chest with a knife I’ve bled, I’ve given it all my fight No-one can say I haven’t tried But if I can’t love… I don’t want to be alive. I can’t grow up, I can’t let go…

I will love you till I take my last breath. And then I will still love you, with whatever is left. I love you even though this new body of yours, I’ve never met. I love you with the might of an organ donor. Giving you everything, blood as honor. I love you, because it…

Though you cannot see me  I still dance  Though you cannot hear me  I still give you romance  Though you cannot feel me  I still am your friend  Though you cannot know me  I still understand  Though you cannot hold me  I still come again and again  Though you cannot comprehend  I still hold your…

I wonder if the visionaries who came before me, those that of there time and during there life, were mocked, belittled, condescended to, underestimated, called crazy, I wonder if they realized, that decades after they left this earth, humanity would wake up and see there brilliance. I wonder if they knew while they stood alone,…

on my cold hardwood floors, in front of my alter. I laid in the fetal position. Gripping my raggedy yellow blanket, my one constant and consistent non-abusive, truly understanding source of love I’ve had in this life. my true family in a blanket that was once yellow, and once devoid of holes. Now filled with…

My final adult film I starred in. It’s called “Into The Void”.’ (you can find it on lucidflix.com) I was lucky enough to be allowed and encouraged by the director and videographer, to embody my channeling work. So I held the WIDELY misunderstood, misrepresented and demonized diety, “Lilith” in my body for the beginning parts,…

start by letting go of looking perfect while you have sex. anyone that’s actually in porn, hates those girls. do you know what its like interacting with someone who’s first and full focus is how on they look, not the performance itself? it’s sometimes honestly like fucking and kissing a dead fish. Let GO of…

I think so often we are obsessed with knowing. What is it? Is it this or that? Endless figuring. Maybe its all of it, taking turns that make absolutely no sense. Maybe it would feel so much better sometimes, to be carried. Maybe that’s what we long for It’s all of it Its black and…

I once loved a monster. He trimmed his teeth so I could not see but I always did I would pretend I saw nothing as he hid I wanted him to feel like he could relax dont ask me why I dont know that I saw something in him, I knew it was in me…

I’ve never felt more like I belonged, then alone in my own home. I don’t really think theres someone meant for me, and it doesn’t make me sad. I think I’m one of those ancient goddesses, whole unto herself. No counterpart, no outside completer. Its like showing up to a party where the music is…

If I believe I need absolutely anything from the predator, the enemy, then they have the ability to slip in. I DO NOT NEED ANYTHING THE ENEMY COULD GIVE your information is tainted, your validation menacingly pointed, I do not grasp, I do not desperately cling to all your dirtied, and tainted things I remember…

I’ve cried while writing poetry way more times then I’ve been to a festival  I’m the pornstar that’s delicate and discerning.  A paradox of a woman.  representative of the truth of life in its terrifying core.  “paradox”  thunderstorms bring me more comfort then any person or thing ever could. I’ve done mushrooms in intentional containers…

There are countless ways to make decisions, perceive things, etc. Much of the way you perceive things isn’t what you decided. But what you inherited. What you were programmed with. From your genetics, your culture, your environment, what information, stimuli, and imagery you have consumed in various ways. Consider I am given the choice between…