They tell you love is self sacrifice, they tell you the more you give of yourself the more you must love them. They make slavery look like romance, and I mean that in every way. They make it look like the person who loves more is weak and taken advantage of, and the cold removed…

lying, pretending, acting, this immediately fragments you and removes you from reality.  the longer you do it, the harder it is to return without help.  your soul, and psyche will have to come back together again.  and we worship this act of “pretending” in Hollywood, the big ship directing the little ones.  making this whole…

I survey the invisible minefield in front of me  Nobody else can see it  But I can  Divisive forces, trying to box you in  Declarations of what is  And what isn’t  A razors edge is where I dance  An inevitable balance  The scary but true romance  I merge entire oppositional worlds in the belly of…

I chose me through the maze, the arrays of convincing opinions through the absolute fuckery of shame through fields lacking logic through people who saw me as a wallet I chose me through ulterior motives of others through an abusive mother through hopeless acts to be better through stabs at my self esteem through betrayals…

I cry out, hoping I can stop growing  Not so fast  Not so hard  It’s hurting  But she does not hear  She thrashes  And exposes  All illusions  In time we all meet her  You are in her world  I am just a messenger  So I surrender  In the ache  In every pain  I will hold…

but I don’t want to make sense!  I don’t want to curate components of me  forcibly making a symphony  so I don’t look crazy  is that what they call branding?  It’s SUFFOCATING  I want to be the woman people wonder about  Whom is far too much  for anyone to even comprehend  I want to be…

Heaven forbid I decide to claim my sexuality, as the tool it is, in this patriarchal society Heaven forbid I use this to carve out some sort of safety for myself Heaven forbid I no longer have to perform emotional labor that no-one ever speaks of In exchange for monetary security All of this, coming…

There is no right way to be a human. There is no race to win, no title to claim. There is no need for guilt, nor shame. There is no right way to be a person. These are illusionary constraints. socially ingrained. Stop Searching For The Rules Stop Endlessly Searching For Sense And Trust Yours

Life exists past meaning  Past knowing  Past wording  Past safety  Past hoping  Life exists  Past all notions of good or bad  Right or wrong  Life exists  She cackles just past your comprehension  All at once here and in another dimension  She is not quiet, or docile, or one to discretion  But she is tender, soft,…

I am paradox  I am changing of mind as if it’s an art  I am fluidity of thought  and sturdiness of rock  At Once  I contradict  Bare feet touching dirt  I am medicine of earth  Written into every leaf  Every drop of water in the sea  I am the lesson in the loss  I am…

In this world we live in, we are embedded so deeply into certain systems of perception. Especially in regards to power. We think if someone is famous, it is reflective of there value, there power, there wisdom, there intelligence, or there talent. That the more famous, or viral, someone is, the more power and value…

Love is not understanding why something makes someone feel good And doing it for them anyways Love is not agreeing with the way someone lives, that brings them joy And letting them anyways Love is fear cascading through every fiber of your being And stepping forward anyways Love is a free-thinker, and will never be…

Speaking on what guided me through my journey in mainstream porn and sex work: Guilt and shame suffocate the soul, eradicate the heart, and create an excess of the very things one is trying to erase. The more you push away your dark corners, the more they envelop you. You do not get to dominate…

Outside the gleaming gates of structure, predictability, rationál Beyond the safety of self assuredness Just beyond your control On haunches made of feeling Entangled in perfect mess Following each breath Is Me Slipping through rigid fingers Gliding past labels The one you call demon Crazy, and broken The one who uses any tool she can…