to expand

I always felt like there was something wrong with me

I craved love but needed freedom more.

Wanted stability

but played among chaos

with utter joy for the cost

I knew there was something in there we all forgot

I’d try to cage myself, to be polite, to be good

but the girl shaped monster would always come tumbling out

of my big fat mouth.

“shhh girl! that behavior isn’t allowed”

I didn’t dream of marriage, a husband, and kids

I dreamed of careers, adventure

I wondered what was out there

I knew it cant just be this.

I hungered

with the desperation of a caged bird.

not to be chosen, not to be filled in

all my empty places met by a man

I never wanted that, you don’t understand.

I wanted to expand.