the sensual awakening

what is it?

I think it will be revealing itself to me more and more over time, but for now I think its time to share what personal experience this phrase is coming from.

basically, I was once deeply shy, would not dance at parties, didn’t wanna look people in the eye, I felt so repressed like ivy was inside of me tied up and thrown in a box.

I was so jealous of everyone around me..

then one day, I was scouted by a photographer, and I said yes, it eventually led to me moving into a model house in Portland, Oregon.

Then comes the incredible day of my first fine art nude in nature shoot.

on a full moon.

This is one of the photos.

(full moon pictured behind me)

I remember slowly touching the sand, I remember feeling the bark of trees in my hands, putting my head to it, smearing my makeup while i went to other dimensions of liberty, tearing my clothes off of me, it was like nature took me, made a beautiful mess of me, and set me free.

I say that because as I dove more into my sensuality and expressing it shamelessly, my shyness began to flick off of me like dead skin.

I built an entire career off of it.

it’s like my soul was finally allowed to fully inhabit my body without shame.

so this, is a huge part of the sensual awakening.

The Beginning Of My Story.

Its the understanding that in the most sexually suppressed environments, and hierarchal power dynamics, herein these environments statistically, lives the most abuse of all forms.

and it’s the understanding that the cure from that bad dream, is the thing we thought was poison.

the sensual awakening.

it is what happens when you actively participate in accepting your desires, your sensuality, your pleasure, your body, your expression; freeing yourself from shame chains; for a life you finally love, and a sense of confidence and belonging you’ve always longed for.

there are some aspects of life that are uncontrollable, and this is on purpose.

your desire, what brings you pleasure, your feelings, pain, anger…

all of these feelings are unavoidable, uncontrollable, whether we like to admit it or not.

that is by design.

the sensual awakening is the meeting of all of these things with open shameless arms, it is an understanding that to attempt to control what is present, what is felt, what is real, is meaningless, and dangerous, the sensual awakening is what happens when you stop trying to control and surrender to what is moving you, moving in you, and moving through you.

(nuance is always applied, I trust you understand that the sensual awakening is not including abusive or violating acts towards another non-consensually)