felt

on my cold hardwood floors, in front of my alter.

I laid in the fetal position.

Gripping my raggedy yellow blanket, my one constant and consistent non-abusive, truly understanding source of love I’ve had in this life.

my true family in a blanket that was once yellow, and once devoid of holes.

Now filled with them as I am.

dry heaving tears, eyes dripping.

I let it out.

I made peace with what was real, in that moment.

this, this agonizing pain only I understand.

because its mine.

the echoes of my cries bounced off the emptiness, and reflected back to me.

finally I could see.

I was always the somebody I needed.

my songs like prophecies, just for me.

once upon a time, there was a girl.

who felt her pain to heal it.