what it takes to do mainstream porn

start by letting go of looking perfect while you have sex.

anyone that’s actually in porn, hates those girls.

do you know what its like interacting with someone who’s first and full focus is how on they look, not the performance itself?

it’s sometimes honestly like fucking and kissing a dead fish.

Let GO of needing to be perfect.

Is sex perfect like perfect mannequin people fucking or is it sometimes awkward and bumpy and passionate and beautiful and raw intimacy between two humans?

let go of how you think you are supposed to have sex. surrender the rulebook, and definitely demolish anything that’s gonna keep you from aggressively exploring cavaties of yourself for unknown populations of people, and whoever your director is that day.

Just to be frank.

Surrender your embarrassment, and hurl your physical body towards insane strange sexual goals.

People think surrender your embarassment is a joke, its fucking not.

As a pornstar there is almost always the initiation where you get the worst photos taken of you before you really even fucking know what you are doing, and those are the internet until you potentially decide to pay to have the web wiped a bit.

Me saying shit nobody else does feels good. Damn.

There are photos, videos, angles, I wish never saw the light of day.

But oh how exhilarating, how freeing, to just throw up my arms as a 21 year old who had no fucking clue, and not give a damn.

It’s honestly so innocent, theres an innocence in porn.

And anyone that knows the true feeling of that word, knows what I mean.

It’s a space devoid of judgement.

Innocence.

It takes courage, guts, and no fucks.

The ability to really let your entire family think differently of you, lose countless people, get talked about badly behind your back, every friend you ever have master-bates to you.

All just to tell society to fuck off, and do what you want.

All just to let the fuck go.

That takes balls.

It’s realizing peoples relationship to sex is so agonizingly separated from the heart and seeing and feeling it with your whole body acting out scenes generated by a hungry public supplying a demand.

It’s still having so much fun with that.

Releasing shame by the truckload, firm in your own self knowing.

Bracing yourself against stalkers who come to your home and almost kill you.

A society that no longer sees you as a fully respectable person, because of our relationship to sex in our society.

Online bullying, constant nasty messages and comments.

Insecure girls who try to end your career, or who have spite for you.

Men who want to own you and are deeply maddeningly frightened of your unencumbered sexual power in the world; who would never admit it.

It’s developing a sense of self reliant surety I don’t think most people can comprehend.

Its touching the world in a way most cant comprehend.

Our sexuality as a society is such a raw slice to take a bite of.

And I did.

that what it takes, to do mainstream porn.

Cause we’re the types, to make love to life.