letters to life

swaddled in the arms of her,

forced into the arms of the truth.

chaos, and abuse, destroyed my roots.

and I sought it out,

I needed to be knocked down.

underneath it all I knew.

I went to the chaos to be remade.

bathed in the flames.

and now, like a babe of the abyss,

I am empty and humbled by all of this.

heart more open somehow, even when it’s so bruised.

I can see myself again, I don’t even care now if they do too.

the joy on my skin finally allowed to breathe.

she beat the control out of me.

my smile more genuine, dominance squeezed out of me by strife.

and god I really gave her a helluva time.

I’m a warrior, course it wasn’t easy.

but in her brutality she set me free.

and now i’m happily on my knees.

the hands of life, have left me perfectly rocked.

opened me and showed me everything I forgot.

in every tear, in every faced fear, I feel her pulling me near

my god isn’t a god at all

but an unavoidable pull, an overwhelming lull

a senseless magic

a chaos that is fantastic

if only you’ll have it

–life is a woman and I write her letters