Love

What is Love?

What is Devotion?

What Is True Emotion?

What is Beneath Performance?

How are people able to risk there life, there reputation, for something?

In my opinion, if you need an applause, if you need validation, if you need agreement, if you are not willing to withstand the rough parts of the path, with anxious devotion….

You do not feel them.

When you truly feel something, not just know it…

Devotion Is Inevitable.

Like when we fall in love with someone… and no matter what they do, we don’t leave.

Because what we truly feel, is honored far more then what we know.

Regardless of if the brain agrees.

This is the power of the heart.

This is why no matter what backlash I get, I will keep wearing mine for all to see.

Because I know, feeling is the key.

And when I let you in, expose my human imperfection, it reminds you of yours.

It Makes You Feel.

This is so much more important to me then being put on a pedastal and thought of as perfect.

I’m not. None of us are.

To me, what so many have witnessed in me over the years.

The small, shakey steps forward, the no’s that first came in whispers, and then in howls.

The lost followers, the bullying, the horrible comments and death threats, the stalkers, the smear campaigns.

Never. Made. Me. Stop. Being. Me.

They wounded me, made me bleed from parts of my heart I thought I never could.

But they didnt stop me.

I’ve kept speaking on topics everyone is too scared to.

I’ve continued to express in a way that’s raw, vulnerable, and completely me.

I dont care that I’m called “too much” or “attention seeker” when I try to raise awareness on rape, abuse, misogyny.

Because I Feel Its Importance.

You want to find the devotion inside of yourself?

Ask yourself, is this a rationalization or is this something you feel with all of you?

Because a rationalization will never warrant your devotion, it will never survive the judgement you get from others. It will never drive you to speak knowing you will be ostracized.

But Love?

Devotion?

True Emotion?

What lies Beneath Performance?

It will take every beating, it will sweat and toil and cry…

But never stop.

And that is why, even if the world thinks i’m crazy, even if they don’t understand, even if they weaponize every vulnerability I have exposed in myself, I won’t stop.

I will continue to say what I feel. I will continue to honor what I need to heal.

I will continue to spread my uncontrived, raw, truth.

And hopefully, in the process, I give you the permission to do that to.

My focus lately has been on men, because I have witnessed so much pain in myself and women from them.

Rape, Assault.

So much emotional, physical, and soul injury from misogyny.

I’ve been raped, kidnapped, drugged, chased down the street walking, groped, and then invalidated and preyed on when I freak out and become hysterical from it.

But; the men are suffering too… They are never satisfied or encouraged in there own fragility.

In this world, they are told they must be a robotic monster of productivity; or they are not a man.

Slowly losing touch with there heart.

And hurting themselves, and so many others, because of it.

I don’t think I’m here to save anyone anymore.

I’m realizing I’ve been doing what i’m meant to all along.

Being. Vulnerable.

So no, I wont keep my mouth shut, and if you judge me or write me off thats okay.

It will not stop me.

This is what Love, Devotion, True Emotion, does.

In the heart, lies the will.

To never give up.

To never back down.

Not for applause, approval, attention.

For what you truly believe in, and feel, with all of you.

I do believe the world can be made slowly better.

My hope can never be robbed of me, it will always return.

We make the world better by speaking up for ourselves and all humanity, when we are told to shut up by those who have long been numbed.

We make the world better by letting our hearts lead.

Because our brain may make us give up, stay silent, judge.

But our hearts will drag us to the finish line, with no applause, no reward.

Just. Love.