A Letter To My Kidnapper

Let truth leave my tongue and relinquish me from all that is numb.

Countless people know your name and what you did, they know the whole story.

I almost let one of them run news stories, many in the music industry and tmz was interested.

They wanted to ruin your career.

But I didnt want to ruin your life.

I just wanted you to leave me alone.

Hilarious sentiment on my part.
Empathy even then.
And I think, I realized my life was in danger.

And if you ever snapped after you lost everything, as unhinged as you say you are, I would pay.

I’ve told everyone everything, the words I said, my behaviors that you say stabbed you in the heart.
Somehow to you validating that you physically assaulted me and held me against my will to the point I pissed my pants and soaked that mattress of yours you threw me on.

They don’t see anything that would validate what you did, I’ve spoken to so many people now about it, including professionals.

I even read in a book about abusive men, written by a man that worked with them for 20 years.

He gave an example of a man claiming he hurt his girlfriend physically, because her words stabbed him in the heart.

It was eerie for me to witness the same excuses you gave me.
I felt very guilty for a long time, and yet, I’ve learned that’s exactly what you wanted.

I’ve spoken to detectives, DV specialists.

So many police officers.

I’ve set myself up in a fortress.

You may never touch me again, you may never speak to me again, and if you ever do, if anything happens to me, even years in the future.

You will be where everyone looks.

You will be locked back up.

No matter the circumstances.
I have made a castle of my heart, life, body.

And put a moat around it, with no draw bridge.

I loved you, even when I saw the blaring red flags.

I didn’t trust myself.

I loved you more then I loved to listen to myself.

Drawn in by your alluring psychopathy.
The treacherous glory of you.

The Bulldozer, that was not a resolute protector at all.

Why do you think I blocked you so many times?

Did you doubt my 6th sense?
Like so many before you?

Do you think this is a game?
Do you question my legitimate ability to know things unnaturally?
It will be your undoing.

The fire of your abuse has transformed me.

No longer am I that girl you knew.

Now monstrous guards surround her every move, in both bodies of humans and inescapable mystical symbolism.

Ironic isn’t it, I didn’t mean to have you locked up on St Patricks Day.

But that was the day my therapist begged and urged me to for my safety, ripping the rug of your lies right from underneath me.

I didn’t realize till later what day it was.

I was sobbing worried for you even, horribly sick to my stomach.

From what I’ve learned, thats pretty normal and why so many abuse victims fight to protect the very people that made them scared for there lives.

Lady of the Lake.

Merlin.

Do not chase me.

Let me be a memory, an awakening if I could wish for one.

A person that changed your ways.

As you have changed mine.

Wylie Vasquez Cable.

Owner of Dome of Doom records.

Leave me alone.

I would still wish you happiness.

I hope you find it.

I hope you heal.

And, you’re welcome for not locking you away for 1-2 years.

The first detective I ever spoke to let me know that if I pressed charges you would have nearly positively been put in jail.

Consider it a thank you for any kindness you ever showed me.

A tactful and cautious decision made by a woman who was crippled by the PTSD you gave her.

And, consider it a warning.

I Am Protected.

The truth leaves my tongue, and relinquishes me from all that is numb.